Forget Ferberizing: Sleepless in Scituate

“There were four in the bed and the little one said, ‘Roll over, Roll over…”

Like most parents with young children we are sleep-deprived. I never understood how sleep deprivation could be torture until John, our five year old, was born. I thought I was going loopy. It seemed like I was getting up every hour or two to feed him, but I also was so scared of SIDS that even when I wasn’t up feeding or burping him, I was watching him sleep. I’m glad to say sleep has improved, but we never actually get to lie in (as they say in the UK).

Most mornings this is how we wake up; the four of us in our tiny bed. It usually starts off with our one year old calling either ‘Mama’ or ‘Dada’ or getting out of his big brother’s bed (Conor isn’t always happy to sleep in his crib now) and climbing into ours. Then our five year old is up at the crack of dawn. To be honest, I’m happy he stays in his bed the whole night now. Prior to Conor being born we had to bribe him, yes, you read that right. We bribed him with money to stay in his bed. We paid John a coin each morning to stay in his bed and if he came in with us, John lost two coins from one of his four banks.

This morning John was up before the sun and the birds. Whining about his bad dream, his slightly pink shoulders (yes, I forgot to apply sunscreen there yesterday), “I’m hungry” and that the TV won’t turn on. Arggggh. Just like the new book that has come out. You want to say Go the F*** to Sleep.

I know we are not the only parents suffering from some form of tiredness. I went to a seminar with Doctor Ferber when John was 6 months old and he cringed when people asked him about Ferberizing – made famous by the film Meet the Parents. Dr. Ferber explained that it was important to set up a bedtime ritual and lay your child in their bed and leave the room. If they cried you should let them cry until they fell asleep, but if they were crying for hours that you, as a parent, needed to figure out the reason why your child was unhappy and incapable of sleep.

Our trouble here is not going to bed. We have a great bedtime ritual – bath time (with / without bubbles), brush teeth time and book time. Then we sing twinkle, twinkle, switch the night lights on (Ikea has some great ones if your child is scared of the dark) and the lullaby music goes on and they go to sleep. Our troubles begin in the morning, but each day morning gets earlier and earlier.

I’ve heard so many stories from other parents. One that locked their kids in their rooms. Another friend, that used crib tents paired with sleep sacks to keep them in. Another Dad who would sleep on his child’s bedroom floor to get them to stay in their room. And yet more parents who have resorted to TVs, toys or craft projects in their kids’ rooms to keep them in there until 7am. What works in your house? Please post a comment, your sleep secrets might help another family out.

Hope you had a better night’s sleep than us! For a good laugh you may enjoy Go the F**K to Sleep (just make sure your kids are out of earshot) ZZZZZZzzzzzz!